My flight out of Phoenix was delayed an hour. This left me ten minutes to make my connection in Atlanta for Santiago, Chile. The odds were stacked against me pulling it off, Atlanta being the world's busiest airport with sprawling distant terminals. But I negotiated my way to a forward cabin seat and hoped for the best. The best passed as we sat on the tarmac in Atlanta for 35 minutes, waiting for another jet to clear out of our terminal. My flight left without me. As this particular flight occurs only once a day, I would have to stay the night in Atlanta and catch this connection the following evening. I cued up with numerous other travelers awaiting the chance to scan their now worthless boarding pass and learn their fate. A burly woman in a Delta Airlines uniform stood next to the machine. She was not there to offer sympathy. Whatever demonstrable remorse she once had was used many shifts ago. It seemed most likely she was there to protect the scanner.
"You booked on the nine thirty flight tommora," she would say to a disbelieving Passenger. "This voucher is for you to stay the night at the Wellesley Hotel and you pay $50," she continued. She almost always had to repeat this before it sunk in that a person was not only going to be a day late for a business meeting, cruise, wedding, or organ transplant, but that he would also pay $50 for the inconvenience. Watching this was nothing short of Human Theatre.
People stormed off, only to circle back and re-engage. They pleaded their case that this was not their fault. The burly Delta Attendant would examine the voucher and note that weather was the cause of delay, stating "Delta caint control the weather." Indeed the hub for Delta, Atlanta, was experiencing very stormy weather. This granted them a virtual carte blanche for blamelessness worldwide. "But the weather was fine in Phoenix," one woman complained. "Yes, but that aircraft came from Atlanta," she was told. "We were delayed because of a power outage in Minneapolis," the man in front of me challenged. "That's the city power," the Delta rep countered, "Delta caint be responsible for that. Besides weather probably caused that outage." As their were few remaining flights that evening to anywhere, it was clear most of us would be spending a rainy night in Atlanta. The $50 was all that remained to be debated. If you could prove the delay was Delta's fault entirely, they would pay the full cost of your room and offer a meal stipend. When my turn came I decided to try the only thing I had not yet heard. "Alien abduction," I stated, dropping my boarding pass on the scanner, too late realizing this too was not Delta's fault.
It was probably easier for me than most passengers. I was scheduled to arrive a day early in Punta Arenas and this simply meant I would arrive on the same day as the rest of my team. The only damage to me being the omission of the trip I planned to take to the penguin colonies that day. It was not the same as missing a wedding ...though I have been to many weddings I would sooner trade for a penguin colony. Really, they look pretty similar if you think about it.
I took my vouchers and walked a short distance away. From there I watched a few more acts of the Theatre. One poor woman, who spoke almost no English, seemed convinced she was being taken advantage of. She was correct, of course. But in the tradition of all great greek trajedies, the Fates were the pick-pockets. She collared a Security Guard standing on a Segway. With a toxic voucher pinched between the fingers of each hand, she waved her arms in grand sweeping arches. She spoke fast and lucid, punctuating her conviction with a squeaky noise like that of a dog toy. One foot stomped all the while. Unfortunately, the Security Guard knew no Lebanese. Frustrated, the woman stalked off in the direction of an ice creamery. "Yes, happy food," I said to myself, "it can only help."
In short order I found myself waiting in cold drizzle for the hotel shuttle. I passed the time watching people, guessing their stories. One woman was nine feet tall. That was my first guess. She was remarkably tall. But nine feet seemed implausible. I lowered my estimate to six feet seven inches. Still she may have been seven feet. My goodness she certainly was tall. I thought about how awful it would be to be tall against your wishes. Short people have a similar problem, but at least it does not stand out like a flag pole. "Tall can be a disability," I thought to myself. The woman seemed particularly vexed by something. In the absence of further information I assumed it to be her height.
Later that evening I ate dinner at the hotel bar, sitting next to an Army Sargent named Robert. Robert was on his way to Afghanistan. He had served there and in Iraq on several prior deployments. When I asked Robert about his experiences he opened up a photo gallery on his IPhone and started talking. "Why have you taken pictures of these people," I asked as he scrolled through shots of Afghans walking down the street. "Because they are part of my life," he answered. Though a bronze star and purple heart are also a part of Robert's life, he seemed to carry no animus for the people of the country which sponsored them. "Buildings like this," he instructed, pausing on one photo,"don't take bullets well. You and I would go in hip to hip, always touching so we knew where each other was in the darkness. There would be shooting. Bullets bounce around inside concrete buildings like this, so it would be important to stay about a foot away from any wall." Robert had worked trading Municipal Bonds for Merrill Lynch at one time. It was safe. But that may have been the problem. Already a member of the Reserves, Robert matriculated into active service and has served, by his account, in over 400 combat missions since. He is 43 years old. Very old for a combat warrior. I asked Robert if he ever feels fear in combat. In a very believable tone he said he did not, adding "you're already dead." "By that, do you mean you live with a sense of destiny," I asked. "I don't wanna put words in your mouth, but do you feel you are meant to be here, you are here for a purpose, and if you die here then that is the way things were meant to be?" Robert smiled a little as he considered this. "Yes, " he said, "and no."
I am languishing away the hours before my flight this evening in the Delta Sky Lounge. It costs the suspiciously similar sum of $50 for non-members to spend a day here. I tried to negotiate gratis admission, recounting my faultless delay the prior evening. They would have none of it. Though I must say it was the most relaxed and pleasant "no" I have ever enjoyed. I invited them to consider my Alien abduction story. (Note to self: The Alien abduction story does not work.) I pointed out what a great organization Delta Airlines is and how this represented an opportunity for them to truly stand out among the mouth-breathing competitors who masquerade as fellow eagles in their congress. They returned a still nicer "no." "You are clearly an important and powerful person within this organization," I fixed upon the woman behind the mahogany counter, "but I wish to speak with someone still more powerful, someone your power plus one." She handed me a phone a moment later. The Supervisor on the other end explained Delta has several thousand similarly afflicted passengers wondering the terminals of Atlanta International Airport at that moment. Delta could not afford, nor did they have room for, free admission for these refugees into their lounge. I suspect this Supervisor is the Nice Trainer for the Lounge Reception people. There was something about her refusal that made me like her more. I felt like a sorority girl.
I really loved your analogy between penguins and a wedding! Funny! Well this crappy experience is just adding to the story and I have also learned to never use the alien abduction story!
ReplyDeleteI worked in a sorority for 3 years. Sometimes, many times, they do resemble a penguin colony.
ReplyDeleteDave,
ReplyDeleteLong-distance traveling, like high-altitude climbing, is a zen experience. You are moving through environments where it is impossible to push against the tides of your destiny. Things always happen and your only salvation is to keep positioning yourself for the best outcome; always shifting, always watching, always waiting for the right opportunity to move on ahead.